Contrary Valley

Are Men Better Negotiators?

Harvard Business School's Working Knowledge newsletter for February 13 has an enlightening article about gender differences that show up during negotiations. The gist of the article is that gender "is not a good predictor of negotiation performance, but ambiguous situations can trigger different behaviors by men and women."

By "ambiguous situations," the authors are referring to situations where "the opportunities and limits of the negotiation are unclear." They go on to explain "how to neutralize the differences and reduce inequities."

For more down-to-earth advice on how to handle any negotiation, read the fascinating and useful book "The Shadow Negotiation - How Women Can Master the Hidden Agendas That Determine Bargaining Success." Tom Peters' testimonial: "Negotiation is a ubiquitous issue in the professional world, and the authors provide brilliant analysis and advice. Though this is an avowed book for women, I gained greatly from my tour of these pages. Well done!" 

I found it to be very practical as well as a great read.

What Book Influenced You Most?

Maybe like you, I'm still thinking a lot about the James Frey + Oprah thing, and books and lessons and truth.  It's made me very curious about what kind of books have the most influence on people. One of the points brought up several times in this controversy was that novels just don't sell that well, compared to memoirs. 

What were the most influential books for you? 

Maybe top of my list is Thomas Mann's The Magic Mountain. (I read it in the original translation from German in college, but I hear that a newer translation is much better and easier to read.) I just remember it having a huge emotional impact at the time. The message to me was not to embrace death or escapism, but to embrace life. 

I'd love to hear what your top books are. Were they novels? Memoirs? Business books?

The Art of Diplomacy

"The stronger one's real position, the less one needs to rub in the other side's discomfiture. It is rarely wise to inflame a setback with an insult. An important aspect of the art of diplomacy consists of doing what is necessary without producing extraneous motives for retaliation, leaving open the option of later cooperation."

from "Years of Upheaval" (1982) by Henry Kissinger. 

How to Know When You've Really Made It

You will know you've really made it when your bestseller inspires a parody...as Malcolm Gladwell's Blink has with the new "Blank: The Power of Not Actually Thinking At All."  The author is Noah Tall, noted in the Amazon Editorial Review as being

...a longtime subscriber to The New Yorker and other magazines that people leave on their coffee tables when they want to look smart. He has also been a member of NAMES, the dyslexic branch of MENSA, since 1598. He is the author of the highly acclaimed national bestseller The Tippling Point, which has yet to be published.

Whether you love Gladwell's writing or hate it, his influence on pop culture is undeniable. I sure hope he has a thick skin. 

(Thanks to Gareth Kay at Brand New for finding this and to Jennifer Goff at Brains on Fire for the Brand New link.)